The Benefits of Saggin’

(Pants sagging lower than Pamela Anderson’s tits in 20 years. Interestingly, this is about how low I wear my jeans.)

Since whiny conservatives and old people have taken it upon themselves to start an entire fuckin’ campaign against some youth fashion (that’s on its way out, might I add), I thought it would be fun to list some of the benefits of saggin’ low to da flo’. “Saggin” may be “niggas” backwards, but, then again, ice cream is just “I love Nazis” backwards. Really, it is. But don’t actually read it backwards to see if I’m lying because that wouldn’t be very nice.

Without further ado…

Ten Benefits of Saggin’:

1. You can leave your belt buckled, fly zipped, and button, uh, buttoned and still put your pants on relatively comfortably.

2. You can leave your belt buckled, fly zipped, and button buttoned and still take a piss (perhaps even shit, if you’re crazy enough).

3. You can go on a seven month eating binge and still not outgrow your waistband

4. You are completely immune to de-pantsings because there isn’t much down there everyone isn’t already seeing.

5. Neocon assholes won’t talk to you because they’re afraid that you’re going to mug them.

6. The fat saggers get a great excuse not to run the mile in high school gym class.

7. For the long shirt wearers (is that a word?) – you no longer have to lift up your shirt to get into your pockets because the pockets are sagging down right by your fingertips.

8. It’s harder to notice stains on sagging pants because they are folded upon themselves to much from being all bunched up and sagged that you can spill shit on them and barely notice. Finding a stain on truly baggy pants is like trying to find a chin mole on a 400-pound guy.

9. You have something to do with your hands besides stick them in your pockets (pull up your pants every few seconds!)

10. If you do something really stupid, people just assume that you are mentally challenged because they think you cannot even dress yourself. Free pity!


2 Responses to “The Benefits of Saggin’”

  1. May 19, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    That’s funny! I always thought that they just got used to having their pants down around their ankles from all the ass-raping they enjoyed while they were in prison last time 😉

  2. 2 XtremeSaggers
    January 3, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    Lol.I sag my pants really low man all way down my butt!!
    I sag cuz my legs are freakin huge and muscular !!! i can’t even pull up my pants! lol
    My body is fuckin huge and muscular man!!!

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