16
May
08

egotrip’s Miss Rap Supreme Episodes 1-3

Having been a moderately big fan of the white exploitation rap show “ego trip’s (White) Rapper Show,” I was moderately excited for the sequel (sequel, not second season – you can only make fun of us white people for so long). Obviously this sequel was going to be no good at all. I mean, the first show was just a bunch of white racial jokes featuring a contestant sideshow with no real talent outside of Sullee (I think that was his name), and even he wasn’t that good.

 

Also, women rappers suck. The obvious exceptions are Lauryn Hill and Lady of Rage and maybe one or two others, but they pretty much suck. The reason could be that they can’t seem to come up with anything except acting like men or rapping about their periods or about giving guys blowjobs. And the ladies on this show are no exception.

 

The first episode has the ridiculously talented lyricist MC Serch and the shitty woman rapper Yo-Yo acting as judges for a lineup of shitty rappers who spit shitty 16s that Serch and Yo-Yo pretended were good.

 

After a few minutes of the stream of unbearable rapping, Serch & Yo-Yo decided on a few contestants – Bree, 23 years old, Byata, 26 years old, Chiba, 28 years old, D.A.B., 23 years old, Khia, 31 years old, Lady Twist, 22 years old, Lionezz, 29 years old, Miss Cherry, 23 years old, Nicky2States, 28 years old, and Rece Steele, 25 years old.

 

Here’s some quick personality profiles of each of them:

 

Bree – Bree’s this really, really manly chick that tries to talk in this deep voice, so she sounds someone doing a really bad 2Pac impersonation (she also throws up westside and sort of Crip walks all the time). She’s one of those chick rappers that tries really hard to be manly and ends up looking stupid.

 

Byata – Byata’s another manly white chick, just like Bree, and she is one of the better rappers on the show.

 

Chiba – Chiba is this funny-looking chick that has a messed up eye from a car crash (she tries to weasel street credit out of this little injury). She’s the only woman on here that can compete with Khia for title of Queen Bitch Goddess.

 

D.A.B. – D.A.B. is the kind of dumb ass bitch (DAB, get it?) that would call herself Down Ass Bitch and is always bragging about how she’s an ex-addict, as if that makes her street.

 

Khia – Khia is a has-been from a few years ago who looks like a man’s head with a woman’s body. She’s the worst rapper in the house, except maybe for D.A.B. She’s also the biggest bitch in the house.

 

Lady Twist – Twist is this cool fat chick that is the best rapper in the house. But I tend to like fat black chicks that rap, so I might be little biased in my observation.

 

Lionezz – Lionezz is some talentless clown that looks like a religion teacher I had back in elementary school

 

Miss Cherry – Cherry’s kind of hot, so I’ve forgiven her morbid rapping.

 

Nicky2States – Nicky2States is the sort of hot contestant who is the only contestant who can compete with Khia for the title of “Craziest Bitch Ever.”

 

Rece Steele – Rece is a scary-looking chick that can’t rap for shit, either.

 

 

As is the style with these rap shows, the first three episodes consist mostly of the contestants smacking each other with dildos and screaming “Yo, bitch, I’ll fucking, oh shit, bitch, you bitch you gonna get fucked the fuck up, bitch, what, I ain’t no pussy bitch, what!” It’s not entertaining anymore. Sorry.

 

Also, the wrong people almost always get eliminated – for example, Lionezz was eliminated in the first round instead of Khia, who was obviously much shittier (this was reversed the day after, though, when it was revealed that the rap Khia spit in the elimination round was bitten from an album she did a few years back).

 

I don’t know why I’m going to keep watching this show, but I am (especially since Ghostface already made his cameo and I don’t really care about the rest of the guests that are going to be popping into the ladies’ house).

 

It’s not even that entertaining, and, frankly, I’m pretty ashamed of Serch for doing this show.

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