Sucka Free vs. Some Sucka Muthafuckas

I haven’t watched MTV2’s Sucker Free Countdown in maybe a year (since whenever that last Mims single fell off) and when I was faced with an afternoon without shit to do, I flipped over to it, cuz I consider it important to keep my finger on hip-hop’s pulse, just to see if there are any signs of life yet. It’s a little embarrassing to talk wit someone about music and not know any of the songs they’re talking about.

The first song to come on the countdown was this new Busta Rhymes joint “Don’t Touch Me (Throw Da Water on ‘Em),” which was just fucking ridiculous. It blew me away. Not like it did when I first heard “Twinz (Deep Cover ’98),” but it was still pretty god damn impressive. Busta Bus is spitting supa fast and, even if he isn’t saying much, he’s proving himself the creator of the dopest single out right now.

Plus it’s hilarious.

Check it:

And whattayaknow, the next video to come on was Lil Wayne’s botched abortion of a single, Lollipop. As if I wasn’t sick enough of the vocoders these ass clowns are talking into, along comes the world’s most overrated rapper to convince me not to watch Sucker Free for another year. The shit barely makes sense to begin with – what kind of asshole spends his time bragging about how he can get women to lick him? Lick him? Who the fuck wants a “lick job”? I don’t know what kind of prepubescent wet dream nut Wayne is hoping to bust from just getting licked a little, but it’s certainly not something I want to think about.

Check it.

I turned off the TV after Lil Wayne ruined my faith in humanity’s basic goodness (and at least mildly discerning taste in music), only to flip it back on about 20 minutes later after I remembered that I was supposed to be learning about what’s “hot” right now. I found this new mess by “VIC” that features and was produced by none other than Soulja Boy AKA the worst thing to happen to rap since ‘Pac died.

Check it:

The song’s shittiness is in and of itself hilarious (just look at that dance!), but what really cracks me up is how stupid someone has to be to actually pay money for a beat my 8 year old cousin could have made on Fruity Loops in 5 minutes flat.

Who wants to bet that’s exactly how long it took for Soulja Boy to turn out this Crank Dat knock off?


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